how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
