it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
