I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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