Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
