im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
