that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Semen is not good for contacts.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
