its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
