ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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