It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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