UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
