that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
