he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
