I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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