she was so not down for the gang bang
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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