It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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