Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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