now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
