dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
