I wish I could punch you in the face.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
