After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
