the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
