So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
