i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
its not stalking. its research.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize