i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize