How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
