So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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