oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
