Someone shit on the floor
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
