.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
