Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
