Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
