so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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