I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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