So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
