Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
send nudes
from the living room?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
