Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
