okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
