Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We named our party play list daddy issues
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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