his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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