god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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