Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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