scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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