I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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