is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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