You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
