I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
