I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Be still, my beating vagina.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
