its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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