there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
