I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We're too hungover to prance.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize