Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
