Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think i have two assholes
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
