no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
