I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have already put on my inside pants.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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