took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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