No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize