Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
