Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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