With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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