party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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