I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
