I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
