The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
