Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize