my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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