He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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