We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
