as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
