Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
