This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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