Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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