At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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