he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
