You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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