i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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