yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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