Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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