We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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