So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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