You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
All the doctor said was why
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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