also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
