i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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